


i have to see you

by aqakita



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqakita/pseuds/aqakita
Summary: Aquaria shows up at Brianna's in the middle of the night.





	i have to see you

Aquaria thumbed the home button of her phone, anxiously contemplating a text. All of this felt like a bad idea, but she was already in the taxi, and already on her way. Any time she unlocked her phone, she locked it again almost instantly. And that was the loop she’d been in for a while. She found herself feeling lucky that it was at least a fifteen minute drive to where she was going. If she had the option of liquid confidence, she’d have taken it, but when she checked, she had no travel size bottles in her bag.

The streets were beginning to change, moving from the familiar and well known into the poorly recalled. This was the right neighbourhood, but she had to place things by landmarks, and that wasn’t the easiest in the dark. She was getting close now, and hesitating on the message was becoming problematic. Eventually, she managed to send something, a short ‘ _i have to see you_ ’  before she locked the phone again. In a minute, the screen lit up with a question mark, and a kiss. She chose not to explain any further, she was almost there anyway.

Getting out of the taxi, having paid in a hurry, she scurried to the door. Rain was pelting down and the wind was blowing hard. There was a storm starting, and the scent of sulfur was heavy on the air. Why she’d left her hair down, she didn’t know, but it was getting in her way. Her knuckles rapped hard against the glass pane on the door, and within seconds, it was answered. Brianna had been waiting for her, and as she let her in, she looked reasonably confused by the woman’s sudden appearance back in her life.

They’d not spoken in weeks now. It wasn’t as if they’d had a fight, but rather commitments lead to distance, and discomfort lead to silence. In the absence, Aquaria grew too nervous to text, and Brianna too guilty. She’d felt like she should have kept in touch, but in every time she went to message her, she felt like it’d been too long to get things going again. The last time they’d seen each other was when Aquaria stayed overnight. There’d been the odd ‘hey, hi, how are you’ since, but no more, and on the rarer occasion, an answer to a tweet. Largely, this visit was completely unprompted, leaving Cracker a little concerned.

“So, what’s up?” The blonde followed her into the room, sitting down on the couch, leaving a cushions distance between them.   
“Why are you watching horse racing at midnight?”  
“Why are you at my house at midnight?”   
Aquaria sneered a little, on the defensive side from the questioning, “I needed to see you.”  
“Okay, why?”

Pulling a pillow into her lap, she hesitated, digging the black of her nails into the plush. In her periphery, she could see Brianna lean forward, chin propped on a knuckle. Her gaze was somewhat intense, not wanting to be messed around with so late. Until she got the text, she was about to get ready for bed. She’d been tempted to tell her to wait, to come and see her tomorrow, but the seeming need in the text made her hold up, in case she was here with bad news.

She could see Aquaria shift, and heard an uncomfortable swallow - she hoped that was her swallowing her pride, because she was getting restless waiting now. Before she could make a remark, the girl finally spoke up.   
“It’s gonna sound stupid. I missed you.”   
“You had to miss me at this hour though?” The roll of her eyes was meant somewhat playfully, “What made you feel that way?”   
“I came through here like a week ago, and I remembered staying at your place. Since then, I’ve wanted to see you but I just couldn’t do it.”   
“So you just showed up at this time expecting me to be awake and/or free? I could have been with someone.”

The look on the Aquaria’s face when she heard that made her heart sink a little. Suddenly, she understood a little more, though it was as clear as day in the squirming, and reluctant eye contact. Before she’d invited her to stay over that night, they’d been hanging out quite often, mostly around other friends. On occasion, they’d seen a movie, just the two of them, or went out for coffee, but their one on one times together didn’t surpass single figures. When they’d talked about wanting to watch the same series, Brianna offered for her to come round to watch it with her.

Nothing major happened that night; that was how she’d seen it anyway. When the time trickled from PM into AM, they were stretched out on the soft blue of her bedsheets, nearing the end of the series. Brianna had an arm loosely around Aquaria’s shoulders, and the younger of the two was cuddled up, head on her chest, eyes trained on the TV. Though they were above the quilt, it was like a weighted blanket was over them; everything felt so safe and secure. With how late it had gotten, and swaddled in comfort that had become somewhat foreign recently, Aquaria was starting to doze off. Noticing her being swept into sleep, Brianna pressed a light kiss to her head, and paused the episode, not wanting her to miss anything.

To her, that night had just been a nice time with a friend. The company was well welcomed, and the proximity was something enjoyable. It had been Brianna who instigated the contact, who kept the cuddle going and would return to it after either of them had left and re-entered the bedroom. In that sense, she knew from her perspective that it was just a gesture of friendliness and affection.

Not once had she considered that it might have felt different to Aquaria. On reflection, she became aware of a certain bashfulness, especially in approaching spending time with her. She’d never been the best socially, but there was something distinct about the way Aquaria skirted around requests. That was why her text saying she was coming was blunt, and not given as a request, or even a real warning that she was on her way.

“I wouldn’t have been with anyone, if you’re interested.” She hoped to comfort her a little, trying to wipe the sadness from her face with the words, “I’ve got no one to see. And I’m sorry I haven’t made a move to talk to you lately.”  
“It’s fine, I didn’t really try either. Anyway, I shouldn’t stay around much longer, I don’t wanna keep you up.”   
As she went to stand, Brianna caught her wrist, “You don’t have to go. We still have the last few episodes to watch, I didn’t want to finish without you.”   
Aquaria’s face softened, “Thanks.”

The blonde began to lead her up the stairs, toward her room. It was a little messier than when she was last here, but Brianna hadn’t been expecting guests. On instinct, she apologized for it, and Aquaria simply joked that compared to her own room, this was like she’d just stepped into a hotel. The TV was set up to Netflix, and they settled down as the episode carried on where they’d left it off. Cracker offered out an arm, and it was moved into with a slight reluctance.

“I know we’re trying to watch this, but I wanted to say something,” When she had her attention, she followed, “I’m glad you showed up tonight. I missed you too. And you’re a sweet girl, I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you. I know I should have texted you, or at least tried to hold up a conversation. I’m sorry if you felt like I was just leaving you out.”  
“No, it’s fine. It’s not that anyway. Plus, I didn’t try and talk to you.” In her refrain, she worried at her bottom lip, “I didn’t want to say something stupid and embarrass myself.”   
“You do that anyway.”  
“Shut up,” She slapped her shoulder lightly, but laughed nonetheless.  
“What could you even say to me that would do that?”  
“That I liked you.”

The words were spat out, and she could tell that they were said that way because she needed to get them off her chest. It was no surprise to her; she’d figured that was the motivation for her visit. Admittedly, she didn’t exactly feel the same in an active sense - she’d not particularly considered her in that way. But, when she did imagine the idea of them together, she didn’t hate it, and seen as Aquaria had come all this way, and told her that was how she felt, and she enjoyed the time they’d spent together, Brianna didn’t see any reason to really reject her if that ‘liked’ turned out to still be ‘like’.

“Do you still feel that way?” Her tone was sensitive, and her head tilted with a curiosity.  
Aquaria’s breath caught in her chest, and she simply nodded her reply.  
“Well, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment. If you want to try it out, then I don’t see any reason not to. You’re not _not_ girlfriend material.”   
Her face lit up in a mixture of relief and slight frustration, the jokes rubbing her up the wrong way a bit. However, the sentiment was what she wanted, and her heart was racing. In a need for confirmation, she questioned, “We can get together?”   
“Of course.”


End file.
